Cinco de Mayo- Intergalactic Edition

Remember that bad 80's sci-fi movie, where in a distopian future, aliens come down for sanctuary and there's all these secret police chasing after them and demanding their identity cards. No? Surely you remember when the all-American couple Blake (hunky Rob Lowe) and Summer (a young Kristy Swanson) were caught harboring Gleepglorp in Blake's pick-up and punished by "The Citizens," a group of pale, doughy, obese slug-like creatures with baseball caps and assault rifles.

Thank goodness that crazy old coot Skeeter (Newhart's William Sanderson) was there with the Trucker Army to save them and evade government capture. All those little aliens wanted to do was pick oranges with their tiny brown claws and garden for less than minimum wage-- and carry black tar heroine in their squiggly asses! But ooooh those secret police and their taser-lazers! And remember when the Head Lawmaker, in a genius dramatic turn from Brad Dourif, turned out to be a self-loathing alien in a sluggy "citizen" skin suit!

If you haven't seen this masterpiece, it was set in the far off future in a desert waste-land that no one gave a shit about. It's called AZ 2010 and co-stars Ed Beagly Jr. as the Chief of Police, Jeffery Jones as Citizen Number 1 and of course Joel Grey as the lovable and wise-cracking Gleepglorp.

It gets 3.5 stars on IMDB.

It's no secret BITCH has a "gay crush" on Mexicans. Any country that can give you both flautas and mass human sacrifice should be worth at least a couple pesos. And sure it's a corrupt cess pit, much like Gleepglorp's home planet, Caderrronderralll. But the alien menace must be contained!!! Much like a black hole, nothing should be allowed to escape.

As someone who grew up in LA, BITCH knows how to spot an illegal. Here's a hint, the 4ft tall man that looks like an Incan warrior in a dirty parka is NOT American. But big fucking deal. Half the US used to be Mexico.

But now, like a shitty 80's sci-fi movie, brown people are going to be stopped because they might be space aliens. This is the lamest Cinco de Mayo since that one where all those French guys got beat up.