Wait. Is BITCH even supposed to review these? She feels bored and confused.
Sure, why not. Does a show lose anything by being blatantly fake as opposed to earnestly hiding the fakery?
This awards show is a lesson in why women's suffrage has failed. Teenage girls vote for whatever makes them the horniest. Edward Cullen from Twilight? Very much so apparently. That kid with the jug ears from Slumdog Millionaire-- not at all. Doesn't bode well for The Last Airbender movie. But Zach Effron is dreamy. So much so, girls don't even mind that he's Jewish.
The much hyped Bruno's ass in Eminem's face was enjoyable, albeit 150% phony. Which leads BITCH to the philosophical conundrum: Is comedy homosexual panic as potent as real homosexual panic? The answer is no. Andy Samberg's ass in Justin Timberlake's face wasn't nearly panicked enough.
And then the show was over. Yes, that's as many lines as she's willing to waste on it. Now BITCH is gonna go look at pictures of cats pushing invisible shopping carts.
The ravenous teenage girls oughta like that. Now BITCH can live another day without having her brains eaten. There's always tomorrow for that.
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